For the offended

If you’re a parent, you’d probably agree that God often uses your children to speak to you. Most of the time, it comes through normal everyday communication with them. I wonder if He planned it that way? I am pretty certain He did, because I know His desire is for us to communicate with Him that exact same way. This particular day, with my daughter, Emmy, it was just that. One simple question.. with an answer that punched me right in the gut.

“Are you going to church this evening?”

“Yes ma’am, but I don’t know how much longer I want to go there.”

“I thought you loved Wednesday nights! What happened to make you not want to go all of a sudden?”

“The kids are just so disrespectful, Mom. All they do is talk and play on their phones during worship. They even watch TikTok during the sermon!”

Uh oh. I’ve been here.

What in the world do you say when you are guilty of feeling this exact same way about people? What do you tell your daughter when you have allowed the same types of distractions to deter you from where the Lord was leading you? What if the more you thought about this you realized your judgement of new or non-believers may have very well affected a purpose the Lord had so clearly revealed to you?

I haven’t told this story much, probably because I’m ashamed of how I felt. Well, to be honest, how I still feel. It seems the Lord has led me to this current state of vulnerability. Nine months ago, the Lord would birth the God dream He had placed on my heart years before. A way to help those less fortunate, ones who had chosen the wrong path or had turned away with no place to go. It was to be an outreach of sorts. Love on them, meet some basic needs and share the love of Jesus. Sounds simple enough right? Well, after one visit, I had fallen in love with a group of homeless, drug addicts and had uncovered some specific needs of theirs. I prayed with them and for them, and weeks later, the Lord provided the means to purchase exactly what they had asked for. One day, my husband and I went to deliver the cot and tent to a homeless man and woman and their reactions were very troubling to both of us. It really broke our hearts and it made me never wanna go back to help them. I remember saying “God, you are going to have to change my heart if you want me to keep helping them!” I haven’t visited them since.

The Holy Spirit was clear on how to respond to my daughter about the group of people that offended her. So now I’m left to decipher how “her group” is any different from “my group.” This was going to take some serious prayer.

Ugh. The enemy sure does like to creep in wherever he can find a spot, doesn’t he? He will even use our ‘righteous’ anger to distract us from what the Lord has for us. How clever is he to trick us with our own morals, values and principles to try and separate us from God? I bet he actually prefers using this tactic to throw us Jesus lovers off track. He probably gets a real kick out of it.

This is the part where we envision ourselves in the corner of a boxing ring and our opponent is the devil. Well, because let’s face it, it is. And if you’re like me, at this point you are refusing to let him get the best of you, or especially, your children.

I don’t know about you, but when someone is coming after my daughter:

I pump her up and remind her of who she is!

I affirm her identity as a child of God.

I remind her that she is royalty!

I tell her to ignore the lies and focus on the TRUTH instead.

I command her not to let them get the best of her!

I make sure she is aware this isn’t them, it’s the enemy working in them.

I explain to her God CAN and WILL use this evil for GOOD.

I tell her to love them the way He does, because it may be the only time they are ever loved on.

And, you know, I really love it when He shows up and shows out and she sees that with Him, all she ever has to do is just put the gloves on. She never even has to throw one punch. He fights the battle for her and she sees it with her spiritual eyes!

Every time this happens, she begins to trust me and the biblical truths I am trying to lead her in a little more. One day, I won’t even have to tell her how to handle it. She will just know. Is that how it works with us too? Once we rely on God to get us through circumstance after circumstance, we finally learn to trust He has it? Maybe we even release our death grip on it and hand it over to Him? What if we were so in tune with our heavenly parent that our initial reaction was out of a place of trust instead of judgment and worry? We would know that no matter what others may say or do, He is still the One with it all in His hands. We could learn to give others grace, let Him do the work, and not judge them in their stubborn place. Come to think of it, was anyone ever able to shake you out of yours except for Him?

And, the kicker: What if WE were judged for every single instance we didn’t behave the way others expected us to as children of God and it caused them to not want to know Jesus or spend time with Him?

I don’t even want to know how many times that’s been me.

But you know what? God is so cool and so sovereign that He is able to use your disobedience to fulfill His purposes. He can take what the enemy is using to destroy you to help fulfill your Kingdom purpose. He can even use the time you wasted in your rebellion and align that purpose for the perfect time. His time! Now, that’s power!

So how did I end up addressing the talkers and tik-tokers at Youth with my Emmy?

“Oh my sweet, girl! I see your heart. But, we aren’t about to let the actions of others distract us from what God is speaking to us. You also need to realize that the kids on their phones are the ones that need to be there the most. At least they are showing up! We can’t be someone’s Holy Spirit, but I can guarantee you He is still doing His job. And one day, while looking at that phone they are going to overhear something the pastor says and it’s going to click, pierce their hearts and they will never be the same! So let’s give them a little grace, sweetheart. The Lord knows we all need it sometimes.”

As for me, I’m still getting punched in the gut as I pray over hearts. Mostly my own. But, I can feel His grace as He prepares me for what’s next. Wherever that may be, I know I am to follow.